Sunday 31 December 2017

All The Right Notes

Morecambe  4  Yeovil Town  3

English Football League – Division Two

“You’re playing all the wrong notes!” said Andre Previn to Eric Morecambe during his 1971 attempt at Grieg’s Piano Concerto

A somewhat disgusted Morecambe looked to the audience, composed himself and grabbed “Mr Preview” by the lapels.

“I’m playing all the right notes – but not necessarily in the right order”

It was pure comedy gold, and at the time watched by millions of viewers on the iconic Morecambe & Wise Christmas Show. It’s a moment that has stood the test of time, and to this day, whenever Previn is in the UK, people remind him of it with fondness.

Eric Morecambe was a comedy genius, taken from us far too young. Born Eric Bartholemew in the Lancashire seaside town of Morecambe, he chose to take its name and went on to be one of the greatest comedians the World has ever seen. It was the classic double act with Ernie Wise, in fact, watch Wise’s contribution to the famous Previn sketch, no words, just body language, quite brilliant!

A statue sits on Morecambe sea front of Eric, in fact it’s the number one attraction in the town according to Trip Adviser, but have a guess what’s at number two? It’s the Globe Arena, the home of Morecambe Football Club, and I’m not sure if that says more about the town or about the football club.   

The Globe Arena
The story of Morecambe Football Club for many followers of the game is quite an unlikely one. I first saw them play back in the early Eighties at the likes of Matlock Town and Burton Albion in the Northern Premier League. They were an average side, but fortunes improved as we moved into the Nineties and a side with a front pairing of John Coleman and Jim McCluskie, they finished runners up in the 1994-95 season and with it came promotion to the Conference.

Morecambe more than punched their weight in the Conference, despite not being one of the bigger fishes,  and after a couple of unsuccessful skirmishes in the Play Off’s, they made it third time lucky in 2006-07 when they beat Exeter City 2-1 at Wembley.

So, little old Morecambe were a Football League club, two promotions without winning a league and suddenly they were part of the 92 elite. It was a remarkable rise of a club, and it almost didn’t stop there. In their third season they reached the League Two Play Off’s but fell to Dagenham & Redbridge in the semi finals.

Bring Me Sunshine
In the past seven seasons since, in all but one of the campaigns they’ve finished in the bottom half of the table. Whereas again this season they sat in the bottom four prior to the game with Yeovil Town. Morecambe are not hugely well supported, one crowd this season in the League has been below the thousand mark, whereas 1,500 is the average, the lowest in the entire 92. I’m not being disparaging to the club, far from it, I’m pointing out that to just be in the Football League and survive year in, year out, with the support they get, is a phenomenal achievement.

I first went to Morecambe in the 2005-06 season to see them play Forest Green Rovers at the old Christie Park ground, but within five years they had left the old stadium and moved to a spanking new one called the Globe Arena, and it’s taken until now for me to get round to paying it a visit.

We always like to have some time away between Christmas and New Year, centred around football, and the most viable option this time was to base ourselves in Lancaster, take in Morecambe on the Friday and then head up to watch Carlisle United on the Saturday.

Reserved For When Carlisle Come To Town
When I say take in Morecambe, only myself was going to that one, Mrs H and Master H had theatre tickets, so it was a short hop on the train and a steady fifteen minute walk through the housing estate to get to the ground.

A couple of pre-match liveners were taken in JB’s Bar (named after long serving Manager Jim Bentley) before taking up a position on the terraces behind the goal. The ground reminds me so much of the old Christie Park, with the main stand down one side, covered terraces behind both goals and a narrow open terrace down the side opposite the stand. It was as though the Globe Arena was built as a tribute to the old stadium.

The crowd was pretty sparse, just over a thousand, with somewhere between 50 and 100 travelling the mammoth distance from the West Country. Considering the recent weather though it was quite a mild evening and it boded well for the football.

It didn’t bode well for the Shrimps at half time though, Yeovil had gone into a 2-0 lead thanks to a first minute goal from Jake Gray and a seventeenth minute strike from Otis Khan. The hosts were all at sea, the natives were not happy.

The Car Wash Terrace (Or At Least It Used To Be)
The second half was one of the most entertaining halves of football you could ever see, or should I say the last twenty minutes. A revitalised Morecambe pulled a goal back through Vadaine Oliver in the 72nd minute, and then on the 79th minute Callum Lang grabbed the equaliser.

Yeovil went straight back up the other end and re-took the lead through Omar Sowunmi only for Lang to notch his second almost directly from the re-start to make it 3-3. It was the 85th minute, which way was this game going to swing?

In the 92nd minute, the evergreen Kevin Ellison produced a brilliant looping header for the hosts which arced over the keeper and into the net. Off came Ellison’s shirt and up to the barriers behind the goal he ran. The fans came the opposite way and we had tremendous scenes of celebration with players in the crowd, the crowd on the pitch, it was brilliant to see.

And that was how it ended, a fantastic but unlikely victory for the Shrimps based on the first half performance. The home fans sang the Morecambe & Wise classic as the game came to a close “Bring Me Sunshine”, it seemed very apt.


Eric will no doubt have been looking down and smiling to himself at this result, the Shrimps played all the right notes in the end, but, not necessarily in the right order…….    



Thursday 28 December 2017

Nags & Diggers

Uttoxeter Town  1  Bolehall Swifts  0

Midland Football League – First Division

For a number of years I would to skip past Uttoxeter on route to my student digs in the Potteries, and more often than not I would wonder why a town of its size didn’t have a football team.

At the time, in fairness I might have been a little naïve, especially on the basis that I didn’t really know much about non-league football below what is now Step 6, but research tells me that from the late Seventies onwards, Saturday football effectively ceased when the then Uttoxeter Town withdrew from the Staffordshire Senior League and played solely on Sunday’s.

You could argue that a few miles up the road, Rocester FC were filling the void, but let’s be honest, Rocester is not Uttoxeter, never has been and never will be.

‘Uchetter’ as it’s known by the locals, is a decent sized town and is home to just shy of 14,000 inhabitants. Its famous for its racecourse, the home of the Midlands Grand National, and also the JCB organisation, formed by the Bamford family and still located on the outskirts of the town today.

So, we aren’t talking some non-descript one horse town here, we are talking a thriving place, with employment, prosperity and a proliferation of new housing. Not only that, with the advancement in recent years of the A50 which links Derby to Stoke on Trent, and consequently the M1 to the M6, some might argue it’s the perfect place to be?

So why no bloody football team then?

If I were to try and answer that question I would be making a guess, and I would suggest it could be a combination of factors. Firstly, I get the feeling Rugby Union is a very popular sport in the town, and as you would expect, so is Horse Racing, so maybe the young men folk have always had something else they would prefer to do. I guess as well it’s a strange one in terms of footballing passion, sitting between Pride Park and the Britannia Stadium , just where do loyalties lie, is football really embedded into the fabric of Uttoxeter?

Anyway, it doesn’t matter now because they have a team, albeit the journey to get to where they are now has not been that simple.

That's What You Call A Clubhouse (Complete With New Pay Kiosk)
They first came to my attention in 2011-12 when they left Sunday football after a very successful period, and joined the Staffordshire County Senior League. I made the journey over to have a look at them, and their home was the Oldfield Sports & Social Club, which was a venue just to the West of the town centre, and shared with the Rugby Club.

It was just a railed off pitch, but the clubhouse / pavilion was impressive, as was the team, who were recording double figure scorelines on a regular basis.

Progress was inevitable, and after finishing runners up to Wolstanton United in the Premier Division, they were invited into the First Division of the Midland Football League for the start of the 2014-15 season. Step 6 football was in Uttoxeter for the first time, and I paid my second visit in the October to see the first ever game under the floodlights, which ended up being a 3-1 victory over once mighty Atherstone Town.

Atcost Heaven
The club finished fifth in the first season and many were expecting to see them push on, but it went wrong. Financial pressures, a loss of sponsors, the management team and some volunteers meant the club were forced to resign from the league and take their reserves place in the Staffordshire County League for the 2015-16 season.  

It took a season to re-group, and by the start of the 2016-17 season they were back in Step 6 again, which is where we find them today, and with not much in the way of options on Boxing Day, it seemed like the logical choice with not being too far from home.

The pitch was in excellent condition despite significant overnight rain, and the clubhouse very busy an hour before the game. The club were marking the official opening of their new Entrance Kiosk, and very impressive a structure it looked to, it was there that I parted with my fiver and embarked on the walk to the pitch.

It's A Tidy Old Poke To The Pitch
The walk to the pitch is quite a long one, and because they share with the egg chasers, I’m not sure what can be done to alleviate the problem that could hamper any further upward movement. That said, it’s been a tough season on the pitch for Uttoxeter, and after losing 13-1 last week at Atherstone, promotion is perhaps not top of the agenda right now.

Uttoxeter are a young side, but against a side just one place below them in the table, they put in plenty of effort and for large parts of the game played some neat passing football. Bolehall Swifts from Tamworth were proving a tough nut to crack though, well organised and with a centre half who could tackle a JCB if required, it was clear goals were going to be hard to come by.

The only goal of the game came in the second period through Ollie Richie who poked home from close range following something of a goalmouth scramble. Swifts threw men forward late in the game but Uttoxeter held their nerve, kept their shape and discipline, and ultimately earned the victory they so desperately needed after the Atherstone drubbing.

Spare Dugouts
The ground has not altered hugely since my last visit, two small Atcosts sit behind the goal, while behind the opposite goal are a selection of old dugouts that spectators can sit in. Hard standing adorns one side while the side nearest the clubhouse is supposedly out of bounds for supporters but it didn’t seem to stop a few from watching the game from there.

So, after a slight wobble a couple of years ago, Uttoxeter now has a football team that can be added to the other attractions in the town. The locals do seem to have got behind it as well, which is good to see.


It’s not all about horse racing and diggers you know!    

The Green Green Grass Of Uttoxeter

Wednesday 27 December 2017

Slices Of History

Burnley  0  Tottenham Hotspur  3

The Premier League

In what seemed at times to be a daunting quest to complete the ninety two professional football grounds in England, one uncharted venue has stood out like a beacon for several years now, mainly because it lies only seventy miles from home.

That quest to 92 is not that far from completion now thanks to a concerted effort over the last three years, so prior to Saturday’s journey to Lancashire, only ten more grounds remained, and by my calculations I reckon it’ll be ‘job done’ by the end of the 2018-19 season.

So, Burnley, why has it taken until now?

Hard to say really, when I was watching Derby regularly, we never seemed to meet, and since then, I’ve looked at doing it by train, but that was fraught with logistical challenges. Then they’ve had spells in the Premier League which meant tickets were not seemingly straightforward to acquire, plus, from a journey perspective, it might only be 70 miles, but only if you go via the High Peak, otherwise it’s 100+ if you use the M6 or the M62.

I’m making excuses now, let’s be honest, I’ve just never got off my arse and made the effort, but, it was while watching Match of the Day earlier this season I kept seeing empty seats at Turf Moor, so when I saw they had a midweek game in December against Stoke, I thought I’d give it a go. Simple, the website said tickets were available, but, just below that was the game against Tottenham Hotspur, and strangely, tickets were available for that game.

Master Hatt Loves A Good Spoons
For some unexplained reason, young Master Hatt has developed an obsession for all things Spurs. I say unexplained, because up until a year ago he wasn’t even interested in football, then almost from nowhere, it happened. He’s absolutely football and Spurs obsessed, which is fine by me, I have no problems with Spurs, in fact I quite like them, so our conversations have taken on another dimension.

The tickets had to be bought, what a great Christmas present that was going to be for him, for all of us in fact, and from my point of view, it was no excuses now, Burnley was going to finally happen.

It’s strange though, for saying how traveled I am in England, Burnley is a town I’ve never set foot in. I’ve been to nearby Nelson, Colne, Padiham, Blackburn and Darwen, but never a town that is one of the smallest ever to host a top flight football team, with just 75,000 inhabitants.

We chose to take the High Peak route, before joining the M60 and then the fog bound M66 right up to Accrington, and then finally getting onto the M65 and into the centre of the town. A parking space was found a couple of minutes walk from Turf Moor, and then it was a short walk into the small town centre.

Bob Lord
This is probably the point where you realise the size of Burnley, the town centre consisted of a pedestrianised area and an undercover shopping precinct / market, that was pretty much it. I’m not one to knock places, because they are what they are for a very good reason, but Burnley did not strike me as an attractive town. Economically it’s tough, immigration has caused a swing in the demographic and on the back of that there has been tension, notably the race riots of 2001.

We found a seat in the local Wetherspoons, it would do the job pre-match, the atmosphere was buoyant and the service good considering the volume of people, but young Hatt was itching to get to the stadium, so Turf Moor it was to be.

This is the staggering thing about Burnley Football Club, 75,000 inhabitants in the town, yet an average home crowd of a touch over 20,000. Proportionate to its population, Burnley is the best supported football club in the Country with nearly 27% of the locals in theory attending games. To put that into perspective, Derby County for example, using those ratios would get average home gates of 67,000!!

A Warm Six Bed Detached In Formby, Or, Pitchside Turf Moor......
Is Burnley a football town? You bet it is, probably the most football town you could ever find, and when you look at the clubs history, it’s certainly punched above its weight, let alone now where they sat pre-game in the top five in the Premier League.

It was a hive of activity around the ground before the game, and we spent a short while in the Fanzone that sits on the corner of the James Hargreaves and the Jimmy McIlroy Stand’s. Mrs H had a pint from a double decker bus, I watched an interview with the impressive Sean Dyche on the big screen.

Yid Army
Turf Moor is well documented, it’s a traditional football ground, with modern stands on two sides and older stands housing the away support and of course the old Bob Lord (Main)Stand which serves the Directors / Sponsors / Gareth Southgate etc.

Pre-match we were sat just behind the BT Sport brigade which offered fine views and photographic opportunities of Messrs Humphries, Gerrard and Jenas, but as kick off neared, the stand filled and it turned out we were in the designated standing area of the stadium. I found that out when I politely asked the gentleman stood in front of me if he wouldn’t mind taking his seat. If you can’t beat them (and I had no intention of trying), then join them!

What we then witnessed was a privilege, the greatest striker in present day football (as the stats now prove) scored a hat-trick in a game that Spurs pretty much dominated from start to finish. Kane’s first goal came from the penalty spot after pantomime villain Dele Ali hit the deck, but then he produced two confident and assured finishes in the second period to secure a comfortable and deserved 3-0 victory. Harry Kane is an outstanding footballer, and I’ve had the fortune to see the likes of Lineker, Shearer and Rooney in the flesh, but this lad is the best, and so level headed with it.

Jimmy Mac
No doubt our media will build him up to knock him down when he inevitably has a lean spell, which may well fall at the World Cup knowing how things often work for England. Talking of knocking, the Burnley support around us was somewhat vitriolic, and ok, we might not have been in the most mild mannered section of the ground, but the abuse Ali in particular took was vile. Maybe I’ve been too far removed from the professional game for a while, but when I used to travel home and away with Derby, I can’t recall individual players being singled out for such abuse. Remember, he’ll be wearing a white shirt in the Summer gents, you won’t be calling him all the names under the sun then!

We had to make sure young Hatt kept his emotions to himself as Spurs were finding the net. Sat behind us to the left was what looked like a Son / Father / Grandfather combination, and when Kane scored his second, the youngster made the mistake of cheering. Clearly then it was Dad’s problem, but fortunately some of the more reasonable Burnley support offered to swap seats and allow them to watch the rest of the game un-threatened. It’s not right, but it happens and it’s a risk.

Leaving Burnley was something of a chore, the traffic was murder, but eventually we found the motorway and away we went. Young Hatt had loved his first ever Spurs game, Mrs H was glad to be back in
civilisation, to quote her…

“We may be w**kers, but at least we don’t have to live in Burnley!”

I had a more measured view on matters, I’d seen history, both sides of it. History in the more traditional sense in terms of Burnley Football Club. But in Harry Kane, we got to see history in the making.


Nine to go….



Wednesday 20 December 2017

The Ulterior Motive

Teversal Reserves  0  Pinxton  2

Central Midlands League – South Division

Call me a cynic, but when Leicester City are playing Manchester City in the quarter final of the Caribbean Cup or whatever it’s called, and it’s live on telly, in the midweek before Christmas, then your average non-league pitch in the vicinity is probably going to be slightly more waterlogged than it would ordinarily be for the time of year!

I should have perhaps known better when setting my sights on two East Midlands Counties League games in Leicestershire, and therefore when  the tweets / texts started coming through to suggest the localised monsoons had done for the games, it needn’t have been a surprise.

Anyway, the Foxes are out of the cup now, so I’m sure when the games are re-arranged for January it will coincide with a significant improvement in the drainage systems of several pitches, so all will once again be good in the World!

In hindsight though, it perhaps was a very good call not to be at a game in Leicestershire, because at least one game was abandoned due to fog, and sods law says if I’d have gone to my original choice, the same fate would have befallen me.

Carnarvon Street - Nowhere Near Carnarvon
So it was time for a Plan B, and that so happened to be a short spin to the edges of the M1 to a ground I’ve not ventured to for a couple of years, Carnarvon Street, the home of Teversal FC.

I first ventured to Teversal in the August of 2001, for a Central Midlands League game against local rivals North Notts (later to become Sutton Town). The visitors won 2-1 but I can remember a very decent sized crowd turned up, and it was a very entertaining game.

Teversal are an extremely well run club with some incredibly hard working and long standing officials like Kev Newton, Keith Parnill and Peter Cockerill. Over the years they’ve developed the ground and moved into the Northern Counties East League, before being moved laterally at the end of last season to the East Midlands Counties League.

The Trolley Parks - No Sign Of Any Stray Pound Coins
The club will always be famous for the two ‘Tesco Trolley Park’ stands that sit behind the top goal, although on a visit for a pre-season friendly a few years ago against Belper Town, they provided very little protection from the monsoon that came in horizontally and caused the game to be abandoned. I’d never had to drive home from a game before in just my underpants due to pure saturation, and I hope I never have to do the same again!

I will admit though to not being a particularly regular visitor, perhaps in total half a dozen times over the years, and I can’t really put my finger on why? That said, it was time for another look, but on this occasion it was for a Teversal Reserves game, albeit played at Step 7 against Pinxton FC. The Central Midlands League have started to allow reserve teams to be promoted from the Reserve Division into the Step 7 leagues, Teversal are one of the fortunate benefactors, and as a result their reserves play just one step below the first team.

The first team is going really well this season, challenging Selston and Kimberley Miners Welfare at the top of the league, but it’s not going so well for the reserves who sat bottom of the Southern Division. But, more on the game later.

Where The Finest Fodder Is Found
I’d forgotten just how good the food is at Tevie, absolutely fantastic and great value, I won’t name names, but a fellow blogger had a massive tray full of chips before the game (complete with cob), and then went back at half time for exactly the same. I’d like to say that ‘We All Stand Together’ when it comes to supporting local football, but buying out the entire stock of the tea bar is taking it a step too far!

Numerous known local faces were in attendance, including Selston FC Manager Craig Weston, who’s son Sam was playing for Pinxton. We had a brief chat and had a bit of banter about my recent blog that focused on him and his club! #agentsfees #freeticketfortomorrow

With Pinxton riding high, and Teversal riding not so high, I half expected it to be very much one way traffic, and while Pinxton scored twice in the first period to effectively win the game, it certainly wasn’t a total domination.

Not Much Happening In This Photo
Admittedly, Pinxton probably had another gear they could have gone into, but Teversal did not look like a bottom of the league side with just one win to their name all season. With a bit better finishing to be fair, they could perhaps have got something out of the game.

The fog rolled in for a period in the second half and visibility from one side of the pitch to the other started to get a bit hazy, but clearly not as much as it had in Leicestershire. The fog did eventually lift and it was perfectly clear at the end as the temperature noticeably dropped. The pitch was in very good nick though, but maybe if Mansfield Town were at home to Manchester City in the Cup, it might have been a bit different!

Sorry Tevie, I know you would never stoop to those levels, not when you’ve got a stash of chips and pies to shift before Christmas….


And that was it, not my first choice of destination, but a very enjoyable alternative all the same. It beats going to Tesco’s any night of the week, oh, hang on a minute….

Pea Soup - Tesco Extra Value - Only 99p A Tin

Monday 18 December 2017

One Love

Derby County Youth  2  Manchester United Youth  2  (3-1 pens aet)

FA Youth Cup – Third Round

It doesn’t matter what level of football it is, there’s always something very sweet about beating Manchester United.

Unashamedly, as the young Rams slotted home the vital penalty kick that won the game, I’ll admit to a fist pump, which was only slightly less visible and audible to City fan Steve’s reaction, who by his own admission would happily pay good money to watch the Red Devils suffer!

I’ll be honest though, this wasn’t about seeing United lose, it was about seeing the Rams win. Home is where the heart is, and I was born into a family that was very much a Derby County family. Dad had a season ticket in the sixties and seventies, and was fortunate to see two First Division championships lifted, great European nights against the likes of Benfica and Real Madrid, and be on the terraces as the great Clough / Taylor story unfolded. While in Holland recently, in the early hours of the morning I got in to recount some of the great days and it was fascinating to listen to.

It Never Fills Up Until Ten Minutes Before Kick Off.....
My own story didn’t begin until the 1980-81 season, as a birthday treat I was taken to the Baseball Ground to see the Rams take on QPR. The game finished 3-3 and featured on Match of the Day that evening, and as a result the highlights are now available on You Tube.

I was pretty much hooked, but trips to the BBG were not as frequent as I would have liked due to Dad’s involvement with Belper Town. I did get to see the infamous FA Cup run the ended with a Sixth Round Replay defeat to Plymouth Argyle, now that was a scary night, the first time I’d ever encountered football hooliganism.

I saw promotion from the old Second Division to the First under Arthur Cox, and one game that sticks out from that period was a home draw with Portsmouth on a Wednesday night. We got caught up in an awful crush trying to get through the turnstiles to access the Popside terracing, and that I must admit was terrifying. At points my feet were not touching the floor as the crowd swayed backwards and forwards, eventually the gates were opened and the crowd were allowed to make their way through without paying. The Hillsborough disaster was not too far away, for many that was a disaster waiting to happen.

Corporate Seats - They've All Disappeared For The Half Time Trough! 
Hooked, and old enough, I had my first season ticket with the Rams in the top flight. Stood on the Normanton End with my Dad’s mate Paul, I saw some great games, and only a European ban prevented qualification for the UEFA Cup, when the side containing Dean Saunders and Mark Wright were a match for anyone on their day. You have to remember as well, back then, Spurs were nowhere, Chelsea not even in the top flight, the same with Manchester City. Manchester United were a mid-table side, but it was Liverpool or Arsenal that you had to beat. I saw all of those sides at varying times go away from the BBG with their tails between their legs. The season Derby finished fifth, it was the big two along with Norwich and Forest that finished above us, times have very much changed.

It was also at that time where I started to attend away games, initially by car with some mates, but then eventually on Ernie Hallam’s Roadriders. Some great days out were had, winning at Spurs, at Manchester United, famously at Villa Park when one of my mates was ejected, and also at Arsenal where Dean Saunders scored a wonder goal.

We did some daft stuff as well, Exeter and Southend away in midweek for League Cup ties, but relegation followed and the fun continued in the Second Division. Millwall away was lively, Blackburn away in the Play Off’s was a nightmare as Lionel Pickering’s heavily invested side were well beaten, and then finally as Cox’s team came together and Wembley beckoned for a Play Off Final against Leicester City, the big time was surely ninety minutes away.

Man Utd - You Must Have Come On A Skateboard
The rest is history, despite dominating the game, it went wrong. I gave up my season ticket after that and drifted back to watching Belper, but I did still continue to visit as the Rams moved to Pride Park. I would try and get to the Forest games, and typically I’d try and get at some point over the festive period. Promotion to the Premier League under Jim Smith was great, but this was a very different Premier League to the one today. Take Derby’s last foray into it, the worst team in history as the Forest fans like to remind us….

I’d not set foot in Pride Park since February last season when I saw a truly awful 0-0 draw against Burton Albion. But, with the weather once again a challenge, the opportunity to see one of the supposed best youth sides in the Country in action, was enough to tempt me down the A52.

Mel Morris, the Rams Chairman and owner has clearly got into the festive spirit, and not only has he decided to subsidise by £15 per ticket the ridiculous prices the Red Devils are charging for the upcoming FA Cup tie, he decided to save us all the advertised £3 for the Youth Cup tie by simply letting everyone in for free! Good old Mel, I take it all back………

The young Rams took the lead in the third minute through Connor Dixon, but Tahith Chong equalised for the Reds. Derby retook the lead in the first half when Jayden Bogle scored from a free kick.

With the snow falling heavily in the second period and the crowd huddled together in the lower tier of the East Stand, Aidan Barlow restored parity and the game was forced into extra time.

Wonder If Steve Bloomer's Watching?
United substitute Aliou Traore was sent off in the first period of extra time and that lead to pretty much one way traffic, but with the well organised visitors putting nine men behind the ball and having no attacking intent, the Rams could not break them down and it was to be penalty kicks.

Goalkeeper Joe Fryatt was the hero saving the first three United penalties, and goals from Henry Wise (son of Dennis), Jason Knight and Bogle were sufficient to send the Rams through at the expense of one of the competition favourites. It was a deserved victory for the Rams endeavour, who on the final analysis had been the better team on the night.

It was a sweet victory, even if it was the Under 18’s, and as is often the case, once through those turnstiles the passion is re-ignited. It’s going ok so far this season under Gary Rowett, might be worth getting the fixture list out and having a look at some options.


I talk about Belper Town and I talk about Derry City, they are two clubs that I’ve effectively been introduced to through various means, but Derby County was the club I was born into. On that basis, they will always be the first love, and the last.

"Derby is a footballing town, Nottingham never has been" - Brian Clough (2004)

Never Forgotten - Either Side Of The M1





Sunday 17 December 2017

Solving The Page Hall Problem

Burngreave  3  Swinton Athletic  4

Sheffield County Senior League – League Cup

“This is a boiling pot waiting to explode!” screamed the headline in the Guardian back in November 2013.

The Page Hall area of Sheffield had seen an influx of around 6,000 Roma families from Slovakia, and that immediately clashed with the traditional Pakistani population who had been living in the area for generations. Clearly the strain on accommodation was massive, but not only that, it was the significant cultural differences that created as much tension as anything.

The streets became strewn with rubbish, youths hung around in packs into the late evening, intimidating passers by and unsettling the local traders. Rumours abounded of babies being offered up for sale for 250 quid to local shop owners, and indeed one Roma who’s staple diet was alleged to have been cats!

Vigilante action was rumoured, the local authorities and the Police were fearful that the area was on the verge of a riot, a civil war even. What was the answer to the crisis? Cultural integration appeared to be the key, if the Roma could accept our way of life and adopt it, if they could live by our standards of behaviour, cleanliness and hygiene, then maybe the two polar opposites could at least come to a sense of tolerance.

The Police obtained a Section 30 order which allowed them to clear the streets after 9pm, but by then the damage had often been done with the streets full of rubbish, gardens and streets were piled high with mattresses and furniture, while behind the taped up curtains, family units of ten or more shared a two bedroom house. The value of property was plummeting by the week.

Moving forward to 2017, the situation could best be described as having gone from ‘boiling’ to ‘simmering’. The numbers of Roma have not reduced, but an uneasy truce appears in place. My own observations of working locally and travelling through Page Hall would suggest that the two communities operate in largely different time zones, the Pakistani population going about their business in the morning, with the Roma appearing on the streets in the afternoon. I may be wrong, but it appears they’ve formulated a shift pattern that keeps the two cultural opposites apart.

Sat behind the Page Hall Medical Centre is the Fir Vale Academy, and at the Academy is a 4G pitch where Burngreave play, and on a day when the weather put paid to alternative options, it was left as the most obvious choice for some football, especially with it being a League Cup tie between a Premier Division side and the hosts who were flying high in Division Two.

Fir Vale Academy
I parked at the Academy and decided to have a walk up to the crossroads by the Northern General Hospital. There were no pubs in the locality, merely a mix of shops catering for both the Roma and the Pakistani. It was pretty quiet in the streets, but these were more commercial than residential, I chose not to venture into the centre of Page Hall. A bottle of Lucozade from Tesco’s was my only indulgence.

Based to the East of the City Centre, Burngreave are new to Saturday football having started the season very well, and in the opening exchanges it was very clear to see that they were very comfortable on the ball, and played a patient passing game.

The opening goal came in the 9th minute thanks to a great finish from a tight angle, but Swinton gradually found their feet and got an equaliser in the 26th minute.

Warming Up
The game looked to be out of reach for Swinton at half time as a penalty in the 40th minute and a third goal two minutes later made it 3-1 to the hosts.

The second half was a totally different story though, Swinton pulled a goal back just after half time, and then equalised in the 55th minute. At this point it could have gone either way but a 79th minute headed goal put the visitors in the lead for the first and only time of the game.

Burngreave battled back and at times had Swinton pinned deep into the own penalty area, but despite all of the efforts, the ball would just not find the back of the net.

It was a superb game of football, played in a very good spirit, and for me was a great advert for the County Senior League. Burngreave, in my opinion will win Division Two and with the quality of some of their players, I can see them being a real handful in Division One.

Artificial Intelligence
As I left the pitch I was walking alongside some Swinton players, and one said out loud “They are a bloody good side, they’ll take some stopping, especially on this pitch…” I couldn’t argue with that sentiment.

Burngreave strike me as a very good club, well organised, great on the social media front, welcoming, but not just welcoming to visitors, looking at the playing squad and management, welcoming to all cultural backgrounds.


If only that could be extended beyond the realms of football, maybe Page Hall would then be making the headlines for all the right reasons.  

Page Hall In The Distance

Wednesday 13 December 2017

The Ballad Of Billy & Bobby

Sheffield United Youth  2  Burton Albion Youth  0

FA Youth Cup – Third Round

It’s very important not to get Billy and Bobby Gillespie confused.

Bobby Gillespie was the drummer for The Jesus & Mary Chain, but more famously, the singer with Primal Scream. Not one to swerve controversy, the Glaswegian has been involved in various incidents that drew attention to himself, notably defacing a ‘Make Poverty History’ poster, performing a Nazi salute at Glastonbury, suggesting a Tory MP should be stabbed to death, and being renowned for performing live while under the influence of varying substances. It would probably be an accurate description to call Gillespie a ‘Hell Raiser’.

Billy Gillespie was not a hell raiser by any means, he was an Irishman who played for Sheffield United over a twenty year period that crossed the First World War. He scored 137 goals in 492 games and is quite rightly inducted into the Blades hall of fame.

The Bramall Lane End
He played 25 games for Ireland but my interest in him centres around the period of 1932 to 1940 when he moved back over the water to take charge as Manager at my beloved Derry City FC. Held in such high esteem in Derry, the club changed its colours to red and white stripes to reflect his time with the Blades, and ultimately pay tribute to the man who put them on the footballing map.

While his influence on the Candystripes remains in perpetuity, Gillespie continued to scout for the Blades up until the Seventies, before passing away at his home in Kent in 1981.

Billy Gillespie
I’ve been to Derry City’s Brandywell Stadium significantly more times than I’ve set foot in Bramall Lane, which I guess is a bit unusual as I work in Sheffield and my company has always had a very close association with the club. In fact, I could count my visits on one hand.

My first visit came in the Dave Bassett era when with Tony Agana and Brian Deane upfront they beat fellow promotion chasers Notts County. I returned many years later to see George Burley’s Derby County win 1-0, while I also saw Sheffield FC play a friendly against Ajax at the Lane.

My last visit came at the close of the 2015-16 when Scunthorpe United won quite comfortably against an abject Blades, and the crowd decided to vent their anger at Manager Nigel Adkins, and the board. That was fine, except I was sat in the Directors Box at the time as a guest of one of the Vice Presidents. I can remember vividly one irate fan leaning over me to scream abuse at Chairman Kevin McCabe, it made sense now why they sat me in the seat nearest to the exit alleyway for supporters!

Spion Kop
I had no plans to go to the Lane tonight, well, no plans until the weather apocalypse hit us and pretty much the entire football calendar North of London was wiped out, unless you had undersoil heating of course, which Bramall Lane has.

The Railway Inn opposite the main car park provided pre-match solace on a bitterly cold evening where only the enthusiastic, or related, would be turning out to watch the Third Round of the FA Youth Cup, where fellow Championship side Burton Albion were to provide the opposition.

After a couple of latch lifters it was time to make my way through the turnstiles and into the Main Stand, where I stumbled across the aforementioned photographic hall of fame that sat upon the wall of the concourse. Tony Currie, Alan Woodward, Len Badger, Keith Edwards and Brian Deane were some of the famous names, along with Derry Billy, and that was when my thoughts turned to the Maiden City and the football team that I fell in love with back in 2005. A football team I have been back to see on numerous occasions ever since.

Things are looking up at the Lane right now, after finally escaping the drudgery of third tier football at the end of last season, they have started the current season with a bang and after leading at one stage, they now sit in a play off position.

The appointment of Chris Wilder has proved to be a masterstroke and with him at the helm, the club are probably in the best shape they’ve been in a significant number of seasons. The Premier League could happen at the end this season, and some may say that would be too early for the club, but, when is the right time to go up and trouser tens of millions of pounds? I would say at the earliest opportunity!

John Street
Bramall Lane is fantastic facility, seating over 30,000 and with modern facilities that would not be out of place in the top flight. Crowds are very healthy and they are well catered for at the ground with superb spectator amenities.

To be fair, only a few hundred pitched up tonight, huddled together in the middle section of the stand, whereas I chose to go as far back as possible to get the most elevated view, plus, I kind of assumed the smaller the gap between the seat and the roof, the warmer it would be!

The first half was goalless, but on the balance of play and the chances created, Burton would probably have felt they had the edge, however, as the second half progressed the complexion of the game changed significantly.

The Blades opened with more purpose, the passing was crisper and they showed more urgency. Jordan Doherty scored with a superbly placed effort from twenty five yards just after the break, and then on 65 minutes the same player produced a great bit of skill to flick the ball over his head and half volley into the bottom corner.

Birmingham City await in the next round for the young Blades, while Billy Gillespie’s Candystripes await the release of the League of Ireland fixtures next week, as they return to the Brandywell after a year out at Buncrana.


Bobby Gilliespie meanwhile, is sharpening his dagger for the next Tory Party Conference, assuming no one else gets in before him……… 

Beautiful Downtown Bramall Lane

Sunday 10 December 2017

Nostradamus

Beeston Rylands  4  Keyworth United Reserves  5

Nottinghamshire Senior League – Division One

“If the first thirty seconds are anything to go by, this could be a very long hour and a half…”

The famous last words of Steve who was on the phone to his good lady, just after the Keyworth full back had found a back garden with an attempted ball down the touchline.

Nostradamus need not worry, Steve’s prediction did not quite unravel in the way he expected, but more on that later, first, this was always going to be a challenging day on the football front, the weather Gods had not been very kind to us.

Snow and frost in the previous 24 hours had blitzed the Midlands and North, so finding a game was going to be a tricky exercise, especially if I wanted to get a new ground in. Kiveton Park went by the wayside early doors due to a frozen pitch, the artificial pitch that Caribbean Sports used was fine, but the visitors could not raise a side, Hepworth was under so much snow they couldn’t find the ground, let alone do a pitch inspection, so that left just the two.

They were Thurcroft Miners Institute and Beeston Rylands, with Thurcroft being my initial choice in the run up to the weekend. The visitors, Boynton Sports, received confirmation all was ok at the Thurcroft Sports Hub, so off I set, knowing that Steve had got an affirmative from Beeston and was on his way to the edges of Nottingham.

It was when I drove into the car park at Thurcroft that I sensed something wasn’t quite right, players were milling around in that limbo like fashion, and it soon became clear that the referee was unhappy with parts of the pitch being frozen. But, Thurcroft offered the alternative of a second pitch on the complex, but again, after much striding and heel digging by the somewhat picky official, the game was officially off.

I admit, I might have broken the odd speed limit, getting to at least 75 mph on two or three occasions on the M1, but a clear run and thanks to Steve guiding me into the car park via the maze of roads that is the housing estate where Beeston Rylands play, my scheduled 2pm arrival was now more like ten to two.
Beeston Rylands joined the Notts Senior League at the start of this season from the Notts Amateur Alliance where they were champions, and deemed to be a strong side, they joined the league in the middle division of the three, and to be fair that placing seems justified as the club sit in a comfortable mid-table position.

The Facilities
The ground at Leyton Crescent is a council facility comprised of a couple of pitches and a dressing room complex at the top of the site by the road. No rail or rope was in place, but it had a somewhat rural feel to it being located on the very edge of the urban life that is the busy Nottingham suburb. My original thoughts at the start of the season were to visit on the train and sample some of the excellent pubs that Beeston has to offer, but with it being a port in a storm kind of day, that experience will have to wait.

Bizarrely the pitch was fine, no sign of any frost and the temperature felt relatively mild under the circumstances. We had a game, but after thirty seconds, Steve felt suitably informed to make his prediction.

More Autumn Than Winter?
So, what really happened after the initial hoof into the back garden, was a quite brilliant game of football, played by two committed sides and very well refereed by the young official.

The visitors raced into a two goal lead before Rylands pulled a goal back. That only spurred on the away side to go up the other end to make it 1-3, and that was hot it remained at half time. We were both ready for a beer at this point, and with no refreshment facilities at the ground, I shot up the road to a shop and picked up some cans of Carling to see us through the second period. A fridge was not deemed necessary to keep them cool as the snow showers started to fall on the open expanse situated close to the banks of the nearby River Trent.

Not A Speck Of White Stuff In Sight
A screamer of a shot made it 4-1, but then Rylands rallied and it went 4-2 and 4-3, were we in for a monumental finish? Keyworth restored the two goal advantage but then Rylands, who refused to give up, pulled it back to 5-4.

That was how it finished, and what a superb game of football, one that neither of us really wanted to see come to an end. Credit to all involved for putting on a great spectacle.

As for Steve, as the final whistle blew, he turned to me and said, “Well that was crap….”, with more than a touch of irony in his voice.


We’re planning on going to a game together on Wednesday, and the first choice match is one that Steve suggested might be a really entertaining spectacle. On that basis I’ll take my sleeping bag then….

Beeston Rylands FC